Looking for a Job Is Hard: Being a Friend Shouldn’t Be

Written by Paul Withers

Job hunting can feel lonely.

Even more so when everyone around you seems to be busy, thriving, or unsure how to help.

A recent post I shared on LinkedIn struck a chord.

It was simple: if your friend is going through a tough job search, just be a friend.

Not a coach.

Not a hiring manager.

Just a friend.

Say things like:

• How are you?
• Fancy a coffee?
• Want to go for a walk?
• Do you want to come over for food?

Avoid the one question that adds pressure:

“How’s the job search going?”

You mean well, but it can feel like a performance review.

Like they need to prove they’re making progress.

Instead, connect first.

Let them talk when they’re ready.

Many people in the comments said the same thing:

What they needed most wasn’t advice, it was company.

A distraction.

A laugh.

Some normality.

It’s easy to hold back.

You might worry about saying the wrong thing.

So you say nothing.

But silence can feel like distance.

If you’ve got a friend looking for work:

• Check in.
• Be around.
• Show up.

Later, when they ask for help, then yes, review their CV, share their posts, send leads.

But lead with kindness.

Lead with time.

Lead with being there.

That’s what they’ll remember.